Wading Through Disappointment

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Disappointment can feel so toxic. Most of us will do everything we can to avoid it. Our culture hates it. To some extent this is understandable. We are conditioned to love happy endings because, after all, the Bible ends in the happiest of endings. But Disney has capitalized on our God-given yearning for pleasure and in our sinful beings, we have feasted on a steady diet of no sorrow or discomfort. Comfort, rest, and self-care are the rule of the day; thus, when reality and expectation clash, the smokescreen blows away and the utter commotion within our souls is exposed. Nothing is more revealing of past pains than new seasons of dashed dreams

It is at this junction many of us get stuck in hopelessness. Now there are varying degrees of disappointments, but I truly believe that these can be helpful, if practiced daily, to transform our perspectives. They can help you get unstuck, and back on the pilgrimage with joy.

1. Disappointment can be great for chats with God.

I am afraid, that honest conversations with God are not as common as we’d like to believe. Many of us still believe – wrongly, I might add–- that we need to approach our Father with our best foot forward. But He really cares about the little pains in our lives, and he wants to meet us in our disappointments. It is important to remember that He, is not frustrated with you in your weakness. Quite the opposite. It is the place where He most wants to visit us with His grace/- strength. He is actually listening to you and loves it when you come to the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:14). Do not assume you know the way He is resolving your life. Trust and Obey are still the Only Way to be Happy in Jesus (Proverbs 3:5-6).
 

2. Disappointment points out your perspective:

Well! There you have it. You really thought you were in charge. Well, you are not, God is! You never had any control over any part of your life. Yes, you make choices and you work hard. And yes, He blesses those choices and your gift will make room for you and whatever other verse you may want to quote about your Father owning the cattle on a thousand hills. However, if you are a righteous man, God still orders your steps. And He is working by His Spirit to bring about the good of those who are called according to His purposes. Did you hear that? His purposes. The external fruit is good, but the internal fruit is imperative.

3. Disappointment creates space for grace:

Sometimes our disappointments are due to our own stupid choices. You knew to date that person would end up in a broken heart. You knew the job was too good to be true. Perhaps you were being ambitious and it all came crashing down. I have been there a hundred times over. Now, God’s heavy hand is on you, but the good news, is that He does it, out of love, you’re your maturity and to draw near. In this case, get comfortable with the pain and know that it is just a season –sometimes longer than others. His discipline is good and only meant for those who are His children (Hebrews 12:4-10). In the pain is found His grace to nurture and heal our broken heart of sin’s sickness.

4. Disappointment is meant to be shared with others:

No lone rangers and superheroes. The Bible is not filled with superheroes but ordinary people who relied on grace. Men and women who were just as fragmented and fragile as you and I. Let us not neglect meeting together, as some have made a habit but let us encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25). We are to remind one another that this journey, all these trials, and tears, aches, pains, loss and, gashes to our souls are temporary! All our disappointments are temporal, but true hope doesn’t disappoint. It is a guarantee, a certainty, and He will never renege on His word., He is going to come back one day and wipe away all our tears. Until then, huddle up, buttercup, and snuggle up. We have need of one another to run this race with endurance.

5. Disappointment can indicate room for growth.

So, you didn’t make it on the team. You fell flat on your face. You didn’t get the promotion. Or after the presentation, everyone made painful conclusions and opinions about you and your work. After you have cried your tears, use all the events as a free evaluation team and determine what parts of the feedback were true and can be applied to your own spiritual, personal, and skill growth. It might also be time to evaluate if your goals match your skill sets and if they don’t, ask someone for help or take some classes. It is great to do this sort of thing in community.

 Hope this was helpful to you. Let me know your thoughts.

 

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